@UTF8
@Begin
@Languages:	eng
@Participants:	CAM CAM Speaker, LAJU LAJUAN Speaker, ENV ENV Environment
@Options:	CA, caps, bullets
@ID:	eng|SBCSAE|CAM|||||Speaker|||
@ID:	eng|SBCSAE|LAJU|||||Speaker|||
@ID:	eng|SBCSAE|ENV|||||Environment|||
@Media:	44, audio
@Comment:	He Knows
@Comment:	Face-to-face conversation recorded in the living room of a
	private home in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Two friends (Cam and Lajuan)
	are talking about their families and friends, and their own
	experiences as gay men.
*CAM:	&=laugh &=laugh &=laugh (.) &=laugh &=laugh &=in &=lengthened 0_1993
	No: 1993_2343
	he doesn't +/. 2343_2858
*CAM:	(.) He ⌈ doesn't ⌉ (.) ca:ll really . 2858_4622
*LAJU:	       ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 3252_3561
*CAM:	(.) I don't +/. 4622_5276
*CAM:	&=in The only thing is like at at ho:me 5276_7155
	sometimes he likes to sit by me and ⌈ stuff like ⌉ . 7155_9461
*LAJU:	                                    ⌊ &=tsk &=in ⌋ I forgot to tell you 9067_10139
	look for the house with the reindeer . 10139_11333
*LAJU:	You could find it a lot easier if you couldn't remember where we were . 11333_13749
*CAM:	&{l=X Oh ⌈ really &}l=X ? 13749_14214
*LAJU:	         ⌊ &=in &{l=@ &=ex &}l=@ ⌋ . 13981_15059
*CAM:	(.) I always ⌉ remember &{l=X at &}l=X . 14537_15804
*LAJU:	(.) Once you get ⌈2 to it ⌉2 . 15804_17138
*CAM:	                 ⌊2 Once I ⌋2 see it 16604_17392
	I know 17392_17705
	oh that's it . 17705_18263
*LAJU:	(..) Yeah . 18263_19325
*CAM:	I'll look at some of the houses 19325_20384
	I'm like ooh 20384_20788
	is it this one 20788_21256
	is this one it 21256_21839
	(.) and then I just- +/. 21839_22642
*CAM:	Oh no 22642_23059
	that's the one . 23059_23566
*LAJU:	(.) &=in Yeah 23566_24355
	the one with the two reindeer that 24355_25607
	Mark and Tim last year took and put on top of each other as if they were humping . 25607_28563
*LAJU:	I was like- &{l=VOX &=in &}l=VOX . 28563_29029
*LAJU:	(.) &=in (.) &{l=@ Neighbors are gonna see this &}l=@ 29029_30726
	&=in ⌈ so I went out in the ⌉ morning I'm like . 30726_32017
*CAM:	     ⌊ Oh &{l=% Go:d &}l=% ⌋ . 30865_31592
*LAJU:	&{l=VOX &=in &=lengthened &}l=VOX 32017_32328
	(.) so I get out of my car 32328_33475
	stop in the driveway &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 33475_35038
	&{l=SM take em off of each other &}l=SM . 35038_36317
*LAJU:	I was like 36317_36708
	&=in I'll just kill them . 36708_38018
*CAM:	Those naughty boys . 38018_39253
*LAJU:	(.) &=in But um 39253_40489
	(..) mm 40489_41507
	(.) no 41507_42102
	he just +/. 42102_42766
*LAJU:	(..) &=in He he 42766_44340
	(.) he's become mo:re (.) atta:ched . 44340_46611
*LAJU:	(..) and 46611_48084
	(.) uh- I think a lot of it is because a lot of his 48084_50363
	(.) friends have now gotten married 50363_51843
	and have children 51843_52507
	&=in and he doesn't (.) do as much with them . 52507_54436
*LAJU:	(..) And I think that's why 54436_56189
	but he has gotten so: att⌈ached ⌉ to me and it . 56189_58261
*CAM:	                         ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 57342_57710
*LAJU:	&=in (.) I've always been very indepe:ndent 58261_60754
	(.) &=in and a lot of it had to do with like me growing up the way I did 60754_63341
	with my (.) my um 63341_64204
	(.) my mother dying . 64204_65202
*CAM:	(..) Mhm . 65202_66040
*LAJU:	younger 66040_66398
	and then living with my one aunt 66398_67510
	and then my I- aunt died when I was twelve 67510_69308
	&=in and then moving to another aunt 69308_70821
	which was moving up he:re 70821_72033
	&=in and 72033_73004
	(.) I I've always had to go ba:ck and forth 73004_75066
	I've always traveled on my own 75066_76263
	I've always flown everywhere by myself 76263_77761
	&=in (.) uh 77761_78616
	(.) I've always done everything . 78616_80195
*LAJU:	I've had to deal with my fa:ther 80195_81401
	I- I'd listen to my sister 81401_82527
	when my nephew (.) &=in started college 82527_84296
	how she was saying 84296_85140
	&=in she filled out all of his applications for where he was go:ing and 85140_88355
	&=in she did all of these things when he had to apply for a scholarship or whatever 88355_92229
	&=in she filled out everything 92229_93591
	and I'm like 93591_94231
	&=in (.) &=ex 94231_94808
	I did it by myse:lf 94808_96187
	&=in you read the form 96187_97372
	(.) and you fill it out . 97372_98509
*CAM:	(.) ⌈ Wo:w ⌉ . 98509_99346
*LAJU:	    ⌊ No one ⌋ did it for me: 98808_100240
	&=in (.) you know 100240_100974
	and I was very (.) ʔuh much 100974_103104
	(.) whatever I needed 103104_104641
	&=in I I got my money from my fa:ther 104641_106968
	he paid for schoo:l 106968_108102
	&=in but 108102_108872
	I did everything on my own . 108872_110191
*LAJU:	(.) I I didn't ha:ve anyone . 110191_112040
*CAM:	&=tsk See my parents weren't very: 112040_113673
	I ⌈ don't know ⌉ . 113673_114332
*LAJU:	  ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 113985_114368
*CAM:	(.) They're not (.) extremely educated 114368_116473
	and they're not 116473_117086
	(.) really on top of things 117086_118474
	&=in and so ⌈ when it ⌉ came to things like that . 118474_120348
*LAJU:	            ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 119276_119562
*CAM:	they w:ouldn't know how to help me . 120348_121609
*CAM:	(.) &=laugh &=lengthened &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=in ⌉ . 121609_123168
*LAJU:	                                 ⌊ Really ⌋ . 122530_123173
*CAM:	Yeah 123173_123457
	they wouldn't +/. 123457_123930
*CAM:	(..) I mean they had no clue 123930_125282
	they didn't give me any suggestions of where to go to school 125282_127486
	they said 127486_127852
	&=in oh yeah go to school 127852_129099
	we'll pay for it . 129099_129837
*CAM:	&=in We want you to go to school . 129837_131043
*CAM:	But they had no idea of 131043_132410
	you know 132410_132726
	what's a good school 132726_133441
	what's a bad school: 133441_134429
	you know 134429_134780
	⌈ any ⌉ type of di⌈2rection ? 134780_136196
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in ⌋ 134780_135309
	                ⌊2 Se- +/. 135613_135975
*LAJU:	ʔuh ʔuh Yeah ⌋2 . 136196_137424
*CAM:	They didn't give me anything like that ⌉2 . 136196_137424
*LAJU:	and see I f:eel ⌈3 that's ⌉3 one of the biggest setbacks . 137424_140001
*CAM:	                ⌊3 &=THROAT ⌋3 . 138445_138847
*LAJU:	I I see this with &=in with bla:ck (.) youths today 140001_143145
	is that 143145_143657
	&=in (.) becau:se your generations in the pa:st 143657_146507
	were not educated . 146507_147808
*CAM:	(.) ⌈ Mm: ⌉ . 147808_148569
*LAJU:	    ⌊ &=in ⌋ you have a harder time deciding on what's a good school 148085_151175
	&=in what's a good curriculum for you to ta:ke 151175_153299
	(.) &=in your your parents aren't able to talk to you about it . 153299_156248
*LAJU:	&=in W- just as you were saying 156248_157597
	even though you're not black 157597_158376
	but you were just saying that 158376_159300
	&=in but black children have that (.) even more so . 159300_161857
*CAM:	Right . 161857_162240
*LAJU:	Because you har- +/. 162240_162794
*LAJU:	You're you're more likely (.) not to be ha- come from educated parents . 162794_166032
*LAJU:	&=in Whereas I came from an educated family 166032_167777
	(.) it was just the fact 167777_168636
	&=in (.) they made us do everything on our ow:n . 168636_171046
*LAJU:	(.) &=in ⌈ And ⌉ . 171046_172101
*CAM:	         ⌊ Mm ⌋ . 171571_172101
*LAJU:	but 172101_172543
	(.) ʔuh (.) black people also: 172543_174487
	th- those that have more 174487_175897
	tried to teach you to be stro:nger . 175897_177433
*LAJU:	&=in But I think they instilled s- tried m- tried to make me so strong 177433_180629
	&=in that they forgo:t 180629_181871
	(..) that I was a person . 181871_183489
*LAJU:	And I mean like 183489_184054
	I I often feel like at times that 184054_186002
	&=in (.) &=tsk and maybe it's the gayness coming out in me but 186002_189224
	(..) &=in I don't like it 189224_191124
	like and when I was ho:me 191124_192066
	(.) just went home to Indiana . 192066_193271
*LAJU:	&=in I went to hug my sister 193271_195016
	(.) and I still feel that she finds a coldness in hugging . 195016_198072
*CAM:	(..) She doesn't like to hug . 198072_199297
*LAJU:	(.) &=in &=lengthened No . 199297_200056
*LAJU:	My family's not very much h:ugging . 200056_201580
*CAM:	(.) Oh . 201580_201894
*LAJU:	I mean 201894_202149
	my whole life 202149_203115
	(.) we've never been very 203115_204471
	you greet someone 204471_205436
	you don't s- hug them . 205436_206226
*LAJU:	You're just like &{l=VOX hi &}l=VOX 206226_206897
	how are you 206897_207638
	(..) and even like male female . 207638_209833
*LAJU:	&=in You don't do it . 209833_210862
*CAM:	(..) See uh my (.) ⌈ my ⌉ mother was like that more so . 210862_214661
*LAJU:	                   ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 212541_213006
*CAM:	&=in And then my f:ather was (.) d:ifferent . 214661_216964
*LAJU:	(.) Very emotional ? 216964_218059
*LAJU:	⌈ Very hugging ⌉ ? 218059_218585
*CAM:	⌊ Yeah ⌋ 218059_218585
	very hugging 218701_219150
	they were just +/. 219150_219538
*CAM:	&=in (.) See my ⌈ family is ⌉ more . 219538_220921
*LAJU:	                ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 220028_220422
*CAM:	it's it's different . 220921_221955
*CAM:	⌈ It's like ⌉ . 221955_222367
*LAJU:	⌊ Mm ⌋ . 221955_222367
*CAM:	ʔuh: each member of the family is s:lightly different 222367_225172
	(.) and different a- amount of (.) touch . 225172_227670
*LAJU:	(.) &=in &=lengthened I always sai:d 227670_229401
	(..) that if I had children 229401_231196
	(..) I would always +/. 231196_233637
*LAJU:	Especially if I had a son 233637_234765
	I would hug him 234765_235539
	just so he knew that I loved him . 235539_237031
*CAM:	Ri:ght . 237031_237656
*CAM:	I think it's important 237656_238535
	I think it's ⌈ good ⌉ . 238535_239452
*LAJU:	             ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 238977_239452
*CAM:	(.) I don't think you can overly hug 239452_241382
	&=in (.) um 241382_242609
	(.) with family and stuff like that . 242609_244245
*LAJU:	Yeah . 244245_244796
*LAJU:	See and that's how I feel 244796_245934
	is that 245934_246345
	&=in I want to hug him 246345_247384
	because I want him to know that I do love him . 247384_249150
*CAM:	Mhm . 249150_249638
*LAJU:	And that 249638_250366
	(.) I I I want my children 250366_251919
	(.) if I if I ever ha:d children 251919_253403
	&=in to know: 253403_254369
	&=in (..) tha:t 254369_255592
	there is nothing wro:ng with showing physical affection between two men . 255592_258607
*LAJU:	It doesn't make you gay . 258607_259866
*CAM:	(.) Right . 259866_260483
*LAJU:	(.) You know 260483_260981
	and tha:t is one of the things that Scott was saying yesterday 260981_262986
	it really bothered Scott a lot 262986_264096
	because his nephew 264096_265189
	&=in (.) uh 265189_266529
	(.) kept calling him Aunt Sco:tt . 266529_268260
*LAJU:	(..) Because 268260_269626
	and his nephew was just being rude and obnoxious about every gift 269626_272281
	&=in (.) he he unwrapped 272281_273458
	and his brother said 273458_274306
	&=in oh that's just the way kids are today 274306_275999
	and I'm like 275999_276356
	&=in no that's the way you train your kids . 276356_278200
*LAJU:	(.) &=in If you don't train your kids to be any better 278200_280775
	(..) then they are 280775_282023
	and see and in Scott's family 282023_283007
	like his brother 283007_283637
	his older brother'll say 283637_284535
	oh Scott's my best friend . 284535_285535
*LAJU:	&=in But he'll tease Scott about- 285535_286643
	oh why aren't you married . 286643_287699
*LAJU:	You know 287699_287935
	you must be a fa:g . 287935_288892
*LAJU:	Or this 288892_289209
	&=in and he'll lau:gh it off 289209_290433
	&=in and he doesn't realize 290433_291470
	well yeah Scott i:s gay 291470_292648
	&=in and it hurts Scott . 292648_294071
*CAM:	(.) He doe:sn't know that he's gay ? 294071_295535
*LAJU:	(.) &=THROAT Hm-mm . 295535_296841
*CAM:	(.) &=THROAT . 296841_297225
*LAJU:	(.) Has no idea . 297225_298278
*LAJU:	(.) He's probably he's gonna drop him off 298278_299524
	which is why I have to close those blinds soon . 299524_300840
*LAJU:	&=in &=lengthened (.) Bu:t uh 300840_301799
	&=laugh &=ex &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in 301799_302842
	(.) it it's the way (..) he is: . 302842_305067
*LAJU:	And his brother is just like that . 305067_306745
*LAJU:	(.) And so: 306745_307643
	(.) he: 307643_308663
	(..) and h- and so his little boy is growing up the same way . 308663_312001
*LAJU:	Larry's twelve . 312001_312884
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And he:'s like this big kid 312884_314521
	cause he's overweight . 314521_315133
*LAJU:	And I told Scott I said well Scott 315133_316204
	&=in I wouldn't take it personal 316204_317262
	cause Scott was telling me this morning 317262_318385
	I said 318385_318651
	&=in first of all 318651_319508
	(.) Larry's twelve years old 319508_320760
	(.) he's like six foot one 320760_322478
	and he's fat . 322478_323246
*LAJU:	(.) I mean 323246_324364
	he's just (.) probably a good two hundred fifty ⌈ pounds I said ⌉ . 324364_327014
*CAM:	                                                ⌊ He's six ⌋ one ? 326423_327497
*CAM:	(..) At twelve ? 327497_328462
*LAJU:	(..) At twelve years ⌈ old ⌉ . 328462_330416
*CAM:	                     ⌊ Oh that's ⌋ scary . 330080_330819
*LAJU:	(.) And he's like two hundred and fifty pounds . 330819_332484
*LAJU:	&=in And I said Scott he's compensating 332484_334297
	&=in for the fact 334297_334958
	I said I bet you the kids pick on him 334958_336103
	I said he's different . 336103_337103
*LAJU:	&=in I said so therefore: 337103_338566
	(.) &=in he probably is a big bully at school . 338566_340679
*LAJU:	(.) And I said 340679_341722
	so he's probably just like this kid who's just like 341722_344066
	(.) &=in rea:l (.) &=in bitter 344066_346014
	&=in because nobody +/. 346014_346876
*LAJU:	And I said his dad is just an (.) a a jerk 346876_348961
	Scott's brother 348961_349654
	&=in (.) will call our hou:se 349654_351033
	and just 351033_351583
	(.) is just (.) rude to Scott 351583_353477
	(.) &=in But yet he'll turn around and ask Scott to borrow five thousand dollars . 353477_356544
*LAJU:	(..) I mean like he just borrowed twenty-five thousand dollars from Scott 356544_359664
	&=in (.) like two years ago 359664_361139
	and told Scott 361139_361500
	oh I'll give it back 361500_362222
	I'm gonna invest it and I'll give it back in three months . 362222_364309
*LAJU:	&=in So 364309_365328
	he gives Scott +/. 365328_366093
*LAJU:	(.) It takes him instead 366093_367393
	a year and a half to pay Scott back . 367393_368989
*LAJU:	&=in Like w- (.) Scott's got twenty-five thousand dollars just to lay around . 368989_372007
*LAJU:	(.) Like that . 372007_372854
*LAJU:	(.) You know and 372854_373470
	&=in (.) that's the way his brother is . 373470_375460
*LAJU:	(.) You know very 375460_376631
	(..) and he's just 376631_377749
	(.) he's just mea:n to Scott . 377749_379166
*LAJU:	He says things to Scott 379166_380300
	&=in (.) just like 380300_381535
	(..) oh: just awful things about ⌈ gay: and ⌉ . 381535_384766
*CAM:	                                 ⌊ Well 383882_384175
	(.) why does⌋n't (.) Scott say something . 384175_386182
*LAJU:	(.) &=tsk &=in Because 386182_387248
	(.) Scott hasn't dealt with his gayness himself 387248_389129
	and he hasn't dealt with 389129_390248
	(..) who he is . 390248_391923
*CAM:	Mm . 391923_392258
*LAJU:	(..) And that's why he doesn't say anything . 392258_394683
*CAM:	(..) So you can't really blame the guy in ⌈ the sense ⌉ that . 394683_398064
*LAJU:	                                          ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 397231_397791
*CAM:	he doesn't ⌈2 know he's hurting him ⌉2 ? 398064_399352
*LAJU:	           ⌊2 &=in If Scott ⌋2 doesn't stick up for himself . 398440_400810
*CAM:	Right . 400810_401130
*LAJU:	&=in And I ⌈ keep tell⌉ing Scott . 401130_402330
*CAM:	           ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 401600_401958
*LAJU:	you're gonna have to say something . 402330_404000
*CAM:	⌈ &=THROAT ⌉ . 404000_404314
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in ⌋ Because all of these things are hurting you . 404000_406125
*CAM:	(..) ⌈2 &{l=VOX Yeah: ⌉2 &}l=VOX . 406125_407489
*LAJU:	     ⌊2 And Scott⌋2's like oh it doesn't bother me 407080_408297
	and I'm like then why are you talking about it . 408297_409900
*LAJU:	(..) I said i- if that would have been my nephew 409900_412805
	and he would have said that to me 412805_413794
	I'd've knocked him across that chair 413794_414856
	I don't care how ⌈ big he was . 414856_416109
*CAM:	                 ⌊ &{l=VOX &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &}l=VOX . 415507_417017
*LAJU:	&=in ʔuh: [% laugh] &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in ʔuh ⌉ . 416109_418424
*CAM:	Oh yeah: ⌋ . 417357_418345
*LAJU:	ʔuh I said my nephews d- +/. 418345_419520
*LAJU:	My nephews and nieces do no:t 419520_421066
	&=in one of the little gi⌈:rls ⌉ . 421066_422346
*CAM:	                         ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 422026_422346
*LAJU:	f- uh 422346_422974
	tried pulling something on +/. 422974_424345
*LAJU:	(.) We went shopping 424345_425358
	&=in and tried the little attitude in the in the mall . 425358_427696
*LAJU:	&=in And I grabbed her and I said 427696_429091
	I don't care if you are my sister's child 429091_431156
	&=in (.) I will knock you across that bench 431156_433469
	&{l=HI in a ⌈ sec⌉ond &}l=HI . 433469_434027
*CAM:	            ⌊ &=laugh ⌋ . 433645_433810
*LAJU:	I said ⌈2 I don't have to ⌉2 take that . 434027_435531
*CAM:	       ⌊2 &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋2 . 434404_434910
*LAJU:	&{l=X I [% laugh] just it's &}l=X +/. 435531_436234
*LAJU:	You will never go shopping with me again . 436234_437948
*CAM:	(.) &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh ⌉ . 437948_439483
*LAJU:	                                                    ⌊ Um ⌋ 439166_439483
	I just don't believe in it 439483_440767
	and I I I'm sorry 440767_441803
	I was not hit as a child 441803_443041
	but I also was n:ot nasty 443041_444555
	like some kids now ? 444555_445273
*LAJU:	&=in He's right . 445273_446268
*LAJU:	(.) They do talk &{l=X bad &}l=X . 446268_447248
*LAJU:	Some of the kids say things 447248_448160
	but kids always do 448160_449005
	bu:t 449005_449339
	&=in that's ⌈ not an ⌉ excu:se . 449339_451157
*ENV:	            ⌊ &=PHONE_BEEPS ⌋ . 449909_450322
*CAM:	Exactly . 451157_451850
*LAJU:	(.) ⌈ &=THROAT ⌉ . 451850_452498
*ENV:	    ⌊ &=PHONE_BEEP ⌋ . 452221_452498
*LAJU:	(..) Hello ? 452499_453569
*LAJU:	(..) Hello: ? 453569_455577
*LAJU:	(..) What's wro:ng . 455577_457343
*CAM:	(..) &{l=P It's Jimmy &}l=P . 457343_458772
*LAJU:	(..) &{l=SM ʔWhy . 458772_460541
*LAJU:	(.) &=in 460541_461224
	(..) Why ? 461224_462963
*LAJU:	&=in &}l=SM 462963_463347
	(..) &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened 463347_465673
	(..) ʔuh [% laugh] ʔuh [% laugh] &=in &=lengthened (.) Okay 465673_469428
	(..) &=in alright . 469428_471004
*LAJU:	Wel- +/. 471004_471315
*LAJU:	(.) Yeah . 471315_472295
*LAJU:	(..) If you don't have enough gas and you're worried 472295_475008
	that you're gonna run out 475008_475685
	I wouldn't go anywhere &{l=% ei:ther &}l=% . 475685_476960
*LAJU:	(..) &=tsk So why don't you call- +/. 476960_479270
*LAJU:	I'll call you later on . 479270_480140
*LAJU:	Okay ? 480140_480485
*LAJU:	(.) &=in Bye . 480485_481378
*ENV:	(.) &=PHONE_BEEP . 481378_481963
*LAJU:	&=in (.) He's afraid that he's gonna run out of gas getting over here . 481963_484406
*CAM:	Well why doesn't he get ga:s . 484406_485971
*LAJU:	&=in I don't know 485971_486550
	he drove all the way back from Green Bay with 486550_488077
	(.) just on that . 488077_488985
*LAJU:	And he thought he was ʔgonna 488985_489986
	ʔlike 489986_490298
	(.) make it 490298_491100
	and somebody would be open 491100_492122
	and I'm like 492122_492614
	(..) &=in so he said he's like 492614_494472
	it's- +/. 494472_494811
*LAJU:	He said it's like past empty 494811_496219
	it's past the E: 496219_497223
	(.) &=in and so he's afrai:d 497223_498734
	&=in (.) that he'll run out on his way over here- 498734_500900
	and he probably would . 500900_502035
*CAM:	(..) Oh: . 502035_502960
*CAM:	(.) Well he should just 502960_504303
	(.) ⌈ go to a gas ⌉ station . 504303_505663
*LAJU:	    ⌊ So he said he'll ⌋ +/. 504734_505413
*LAJU:	(.) &=in Well there's one down the street from his house 505663_507149
	but it'll probably be open tomorrow morning . 507149_508495
*CAM:	(.) Oh . 508495_508919
*LAJU:	It's not open now . 508919_509698
*LAJU:	So he said he'd just rather stay home . 509698_511311
*LAJU:	(..) Instead 511311_512830
	and I said fi:ne 512830_513524
	go ahead and stay home . 513524_514223
*CAM:	&=laugh &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 514223_515631
*LAJU:	                ⌊ &=in &=lengthened ⌋ But I don't know 515364_516213
	I I really think that 516213_517425
	it ⌈ it's ⌉ hard . 517425_518247
*CAM:	   ⌊ &=SNIFF ⌋ . 517603_517841
*LAJU:	(.) it's hard 518247_518887
	(.) it's it is hard having 518887_520232
	(..) to hi:de this like Scott's doing 520232_522142
	I couldn't hide it any longer &{l=X than he has &}l=X 522142_524254
	(..) he's hiding it way too long . 524254_526167
*CAM:	(.) Yea:h . 526167_527303
*LAJU:	(.) ⌈ &=THROAT ⌉ . 527303_528387
*CAM:	    ⌊ No I ⌋ couldn't hide it that long either . 528035_529548
*CAM:	(..) I told my mother when I had like 529548_531525
	(..) my (.) boyfriend moved away . 531525_533765
*CAM:	(..) &=tsk ⌈ She s- ⌉ +... 533765_535533
*LAJU:	           ⌊ Is that why ⌋ you told her ? 535120_535947
*CAM:	(.) Mm . 535947_536567
*CAM:	(.) Cause I was really upset . 536567_537905
*CAM:	(.) &=in And then I s- +/. 537905_539349
*CAM:	(.) An:d then she's like 539349_540535
	well it's a good thing he moved away 540535_541757
	cause he was sort of (.) effeminate 541757_543857
	(..) &=laugh and I was really offended . 543857_545861
*LAJU:	(.) That's how she took it ? 545861_546942
*CAM:	(.) Yea:h . 546942_547900
*CAM:	(.) And I was really offended 547900_548979
	cause ⌈ she said ⌉ something like . 548979_549930
*LAJU:	      ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 549143_549447
*CAM:	well it's a good thing 549930_550594
	he was sort of weird 550594_551319
	I didn't like you hanging around him . 551319_552562
*CAM:	(..) And I said &{l=VOX what do you mean he was weird &}l=VOX . 552562_555159
*CAM:	(.) And she said he was sort of effeminate . 555159_557044
*CAM:	(.) And I was like 557044_558004
	well what do you mean 558004_558515
	he's gay: or something 558515_559390
	she's like well I think he might have been . 559390_560697
*CAM:	(..) And I said well: ʔuh 560697_562152
	(..) why 562152_562903
	does that bother you ? 562903_563719
*CAM:	I said because I am . 563719_564635
*CAM:	(.) And she's like 564635_565411
	(..) no: . 565411_566520
*CAM:	You're not . 566520_566995
*CAM:	I know you . 566995_567620
*CAM:	You're not gay . 567620_568303
*CAM:	(.) &=laugh &=ex ⌈ &=lengthened ⌉ . 568303_569845
*LAJU:	                 ⌊ &=in ⌋ . 569550_569845
*CAM:	&=in And I said 569845_570755
	&=in (.) yes I am . 570755_572037
*CAM:	(.) I said 572037_572543
	(..) how do you know me: 572543_574410
	better than I know myself: [% laugh] . 574410_575935
*CAM:	&=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 575935_576891
	&=in &=lengthened &{l=@ And she's just &}l=@ looking at me 576891_578729
	and she was like really upset . 578729_580178
*CAM:	(.) &=in &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened . 580178_581875
*LAJU:	Did she tell your dad or did you tell your dad . 581875_583445
*CAM:	&=tsk No 583445_584085
	(..) she ended up telling him I think eventually 584085_586389
	but not right away . 586389_587162
*CAM:	(.) &=in First thing I had ⌈ to go to ⌉ see ʔa: a psychiatrist . 587162_589902
*LAJU:	                           ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ 588099_588429
	(.) &=tsk Oh she made you go do that . 590018_591627
*CAM:	Mhm 591627_592001
	(.) I went . 592001_592617
*LAJU:	(..) Oh Jim's mother told him that too . 592617_594553
*CAM:	(.) &=tsk See and then I went 594553_595878
	(.) and the guy:'s like really nice 595878_597248
	and ⌈ he's like ⌉ well what what's why are you here . 597248_599418
*LAJU:	    ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 597371_597658
*CAM:	(.) tell me what's (.) what's going on . 599418_600732
*CAM:	(.) &=in And I said ⌈ well: ⌉ . 600732_601895
*LAJU:	                    ⌊ How old ⌋ were you at this time . 601535_602754
*CAM:	(.) &=tsk &=in (.) Nineteen . 602754_604936
*LAJU:	(.) And she &{l=X said that's for the &}l=X psychiatrist at nineteen ? 604936_606925
*LAJU:	She didn't think you knew: 606925_607785
	(.) enough about yourself at that age ? 607785_609119
*CAM:	(.) Right . 609119_609478
*CAM:	(.) Well 609478_609770
	she didn't wa:nt to believe it 609770_610697
	⌈ you know ⌉ . 610697_611293
*LAJU:	⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ 610697_611293
	⌈2 Yeah ⌉2 . 611293_611722
*CAM:	⌊2 I guess ⌋2 you can't blame em 611447_612227
	some (.) to some extent . 612227_613258
*CAM:	(.) &=in So then I: went to the psychiatrist and 613258_615310
	&=in he's like well what's the problem 615310_616653
	and I said 616653_617079
	well 617079_617440
	(.) &=tsk my mother's upset because I'm gay . 617440_619308
*CAM:	&=laugh &=lengthened &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 619308_620749
	&=in And he's like 620749_621388
	well it sounds like she has a problem then [% laugh] 621388_623048
	&=laugh &=lengthened &=laugh &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=in . 623048_625561
*LAJU:	                                     ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=lengthened &=in &=lengthened 623790_624739
	Did he really say that ⌋ ? 624739_625850
*CAM:	&{l=VOX Ye⌉:s &}l=VOX . 625572_626106
*CAM:	He said it sounds like that- she's the one with the problem . 626106_628245
*CAM:	(..) And I didn't even th:ink about how I s:aid it . 628245_630770
*CAM:	I just said it ? 630770_631589
*CAM:	You know ? 631589_631996
*CAM:	(..) And he interpreted w- how I said it 631996_634049
	(.) as how it wa:s . 634049_635354
*CAM:	You know 635354_635655
	⌈ w- which is true: ⌉ . 635655_636487
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in And you know what's really f⌋:unny 635655_637010
	is ⌈2 that a ⌉2 psychiatrist ⌈3 would ⌉3 say that . 637010_638990
*CAM:	   ⌊2 &=SNIFF ⌋2 637315_637489
	                           ⌊3 &=THROAT ⌋3 . 638164_638397
*LAJU:	(.) and knowingly know: that 638990_640374
	&=in (.) you know 640374_640976
	he: accepted the fact that yes you are gay 640976_642939
	that it is something that 642939_643781
	(.) &=in like when Mike told his friend Julia 643781_645781
	(.) &=in Mike was telling me that Julia said 645781_647492
	(.) &=in oh I don't li:ke it 647492_648822
	but if that's what you want 648822_649947
	maybe that's not truly who you are: . 649947_651619
*LAJU:	(..) You know 651619_653268
	and 653268_653607
	(.) I said to Mike 653607_654427
	I said then Mike she didn't accept it . 654427_656049
*LAJU:	(..) A:nd 656049_658308
	(..) he sai:d 658308_660215
	(.) &=in well 660215_661018
	(.) I think she accepted it 661018_662202
	she just said that 662202_663079
	&=in and he told her that he feels he was bo:rn with it 663079_665734
	and she said 665734_666385
	(..) no 666385_667293
	I don't believe that 667293_667830
	I think it's your choice that that's what you want . 667830_669644
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I said to- +/. 669644_670944
*LAJU:	And I and I told Mike 670944_671853
	I said you know 671853_672470
	&=in I hate when people say that 672470_673893
	because 673893_674269
	(.) if I felt that was my choice 674269_675641
	&=in (.) I don't think that would've been the first choice I would've picked . 675641_678304
*CAM:	&=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 678304_679285
	⌈ Oh [% laugh] Go:d no ⌉ . 679285_680579
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in And it's not to say that I'm ash⌋:a:med of being gay . 679285_681716
*CAM:	⌈2 No: ⌉2 . 681716_682232
*LAJU:	⌊2 ʔuh what it is⌋2: is that 681716_682711
	&=in because of what society has do:ne 682711_684550
	or has &=in laid the ru:les for us 684550_686584
	(.) &=in I don't ⌈ really ⌉ think I would have chose to be gay . 686584_688891
*CAM:	                 ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 687369_687647
*LAJU:	(.) I I wouldn't . 688891_689655
*LAJU:	(.) Why would I want to be gay 689655_690566
	and have to deal with what we go through . 690566_691970
*CAM:	(..) Exa:ctly . 691970_693676
*CAM:	And that's &{l=X what &}l=X I ex⌈plained ⌉ to my f:olks now and . 693676_696011
*LAJU:	                                ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 694599_694899
*CAM:	(.) &=in &=lengthened ⌈2 and they⌉2: ʔuh (.) totally believe that it's . 696011_698573
*LAJU:	                      ⌊2 &=THROAT ⌋2 . 696573_696989
*CAM:	(.) like (.) hereditary or genetic or whatever 698573_700638
	that it's not a choice . 700638_701845
*CAM:	(.) You know 701845_702727
	⌈ because ⌉ +... 702727_703256
*LAJU:	⌊ They do ⌋ believe it now ? 702727_703822
*CAM:	Oh yeah . 703822_704225
*CAM:	⌈ They totally b- ⌉ +... 704225_704920
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in Oh: 704225_704724
	I ⌋ believe it's (.) it's +/. 704724_705693
*LAJU:	I don't know if it's hereditary ? 705693_707076
*LAJU:	(.) I do believe it's something . 707076_708273
*LAJU:	&=in It's a ge:ne 708273_709243
	or it's something . 709243_710066
*CAM:	Right . 710066_710495
*LAJU:	I I do:n't (.) think +/. 710495_711872
*LAJU:	I don't care what people say . 711872_712944
*LAJU:	You- you are +/. 712944_713508
*LAJU:	You do not choose . 713508_714650
*CAM:	Unh-u⌈:nh ⌉ . 714650_715254
*LAJU:	     ⌊ I've ⌋ known 714952_715647
	since I was: 715647_716548
	(.) &=in (..) gosh 716548_719063
	(.) probably: 719063_719948
	(.) I can remember ? 719948_721046
*LAJU:	Four ? 721046_721500
*LAJU:	(.) Five years old ? 721500_722441
*CAM:	I remember that . 722441_723202
*CAM:	⌈ &{l=X Yeah &}l=X ⌉ . 723202_723485
*LAJU:	⌊ I re⌋member: (.) looking (.) a:t 723202_725578
	(..) my uncle was sleeping 725578_727734
	(.) &=in on the couch 727734_729199
	(..) in our family room 729199_730561
	&=in an:d 730561_731466
	he was sleeping there with his boxers on 731466_733296
	and his (.) peepee fell out of his pants . 733296_735705
*LAJU:	&=in (.) And I just stood there and stared at it 735705_737815
	&=in an⌈:d I was ⌉ +... 737815_739227
*CAM:	       ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 738690_739227
*LAJU:	And I know it was a sexual arousement 739227_740809
	cause I can remember feeling sexually (.) interested . 740809_743558
*CAM:	(..) &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 743558_744914
*LAJU:	             ⌊ And so I was ⌋ like four years old . 744150_746024
*LAJU:	(..) So I knew then . 746024_747556
*LAJU:	(.) You you kno:w what you feel insi:de . 747556_749865
*LAJU:	You you c- you ⌈ can't ⌉ +... 749865_750859
*CAM:	               ⌊ Right ⌋ . 750386_750859
*LAJU:	(..) &=in And I don't care what anybody says 750859_753111
	a- a- f- at four years old 753111_754246
	I pick- +/. 754246_754736
*LAJU:	I chose that ? 754736_755511
*LAJU:	That I (..) liked (.) what I saw 755511_757550
	I don't think so . 757550_758263
*LAJU:	I don't think I knew at four years old 758263_759740
	&=in that I could actually just say oh 759740_761328
	&=in wow 761328_761936
	I wanna play with this guy . 761936_763124
*LAJU:	&=in ⌈ You know ⌉ . 763124_763787
*CAM:	     ⌊ Right ⌋ . 763387_763787
*LAJU:	I don't think so . 763787_764861
*LAJU:	(.) And and if they say things like 764861_766314
	&=in oh when I was maybe s:even 766314_768408
	(..) I slept with my cousin Tommy 768408_770251
	who was probably twelve thirteen ? 770251_772214
*LAJU:	&=in (.) At the time 772214_773634
	and I slept with him 773634_774740
	(..) no he was sixteen . 774740_776450
*LAJU:	(.) Shared a bed with him 776450_777632
	and he: 777632_778386
	(.) &=in uh: 778386_779574
	(..) started fondling me 779574_781588
	and I enjoyed it 781588_782401
	and I fondled him back . 782401_783607
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I was like (.) seven years old . 783607_785852
*LAJU:	&=in And (.) I (.) I don't say that he did it to me 785852_788381
	he molested me or 788381_789460
	r- or raped me as people are saying now 789460_791225
	&=in the older uncle 791225_792353
	&=in (.) generally 792353_793552
	I think these kids . 793552_794582
*CAM:	(..) Hm . 794582_795550
*LAJU:	(.) not saying adults should've been more responsible 795550_797465
	my six⌈teen-year-old ⌉ cons- cousin should have been more responsible . 797465_799562
*CAM:	      ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 797799_798063
*LAJU:	and not played with a seven-year-old child 799562_801176
	&=in but 801176_801906
	(.) he did . 801906_802615
*LAJU:	&=in But I'm not gonna turn around and tell my aunt 802615_804620
	well 804620_804832
	(.) gee your son 804832_805895
	(.) mol⌈ested me ⌉ as a child . 805895_807320
*CAM:	       ⌊ Is he gay ⌋ ? 806173_806802
*LAJU:	No . 807320_807572
*CAM:	(..) He's not gay . 807572_808817
*LAJU:	(.) Well 808817_809701
	(.) we don't know . 809701_810266
*LAJU:	&=in ⌈ &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened &=in &=in ⌉ &=ex . 810266_812165
*CAM:	     ⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 810741_811722
*LAJU:	(.) &=in A:ctually: 812165_813569
	(.) I think he is . 813569_814506
*LAJU:	He brought home a drag queen for Christmas last year . 814506_816395
*LAJU:	(.) &=in So . 816395_817330
*CAM:	(.) Oh yeah . 817330_818292
*CAM:	&=laugh &=laugh ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 818292_819593
*LAJU:	                ⌊ &{l=YWN &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ 818522_819125
	(.) But 819593_820033
	(..) at the time &}l=YWN no . 820033_821646
*LAJU:	he ha- +/. 821646_822011
*LAJU:	&=in (.) Like when he turned twenty-two 822011_823964
	he got (.) married 823964_824653
	and he had kids and stuff 824653_825563
	he has: (.) kids 825563_826230
	which doesn't mean anything 826230_827138
	there are a lot of fags with kids 827138_828186
	but 828186_828346
	&=in he: (.) just is very 828346_830053
	(.) that was what ha:ppened to me . 830053_831357
*LAJU:	And (.) and I don't blame my cousin 831357_832967
	it was just another awakening experience for me 832967_834975
	I mean there were several experiences 834975_836313
	&=in when I was growing up 836313_837572
	I mean 837572_837932
	&=in I remember watching one of our neighbors 837932_839787
	who was taking a shower 839787_840778
	and you could see right through his bedroom 840778_842329
	and he got out and he was naked . 842329_843631
*LAJU:	And I remember watching . 843631_844795
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I remember being mesmerized by his body . 844795_847442
*LAJU:	(..) I was never really that mesmerized by a female's body 847442_850466
	as I was by a male's body 850466_851653
	⌈ and so ⌉ . 851653_852115
*CAM:	⌊ Right ⌋ . 851653_852115
*LAJU:	&=in that's why I don't understand where uh (.) they come up with this of 852115_854708
	&=in it's your choice . 854708_855778
*LAJU:	It's no:t . 855778_856457
*LAJU:	I I know 856457_857238
	&=in ⌈ that that's ⌉ what I ⌈2 felt ⌉2 . 857238_858566
*CAM:	     ⌊ &{l=X Well &}l=X ⌋ 857553_857878
	                          ⌊2 &=in I ⌋2 remember when I was li- +/. 858146_859646
*CAM:	I was like probab⌈3ly three or ⌉3 four . 859646_860946
*LAJU:	                 ⌊3 &=THROAT ⌋3 . 860322_860670
*CAM:	and I was wrestling on the- 860946_861944
	I th- I ⌈ remember ⌉ wrestling on the floor . 861944_863970
*LAJU:	        ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 862461_862876
*CAM:	&=in with my brothers 863970_865079
	and being aroused . 865079_865900
*CAM:	&{l=X Mhm &}l=X . 865900_866324
*CAM:	(..) Just like (.) goofing around and stuff ⌈ like that ⌉ ? 866324_869849
*LAJU:	                                            ⌊ Mhm ⌋ . 869408_869849
*CAM:	(..) &=in And then I think the l- +/. 869849_871302
*CAM:	(.) ʔThe experience when I was younger 871302_873411
	and my ʔuh:older brothers had (.) friends over . 873411_876047
*CAM:	(.) &=in I remember the f- +/. 876047_877262
*CAM:	(.) He he he (.) come over with these friends 877262_879368
	with these guys 879368_880035
	and I would just be like 880035_881030
	(..) in lust . 881030_882490
*CAM:	(.) &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened &=laugh &=laugh &=in 882490_884018
	For [% laugh] these [% laugh] guys 884018_884896
	I mean 884896_885226
	&=in I must have been like nine or ten 885226_886767
	and I was just like (..) idolizing these guys . 886767_889277
*CAM:	&{l=P Like oh: my Go:d 889277_890242
	&{l=X wow: &}l=X &}l=P 890242_890677
	(..) I remember 890677_891690
	I would like imagine like 891690_893218
	(.) if I could have them in my bedroom . 893218_894915
*LAJU:	(.) ⌈ See th- yeah ⌉ . 894915_896373
*CAM:	    ⌊ That type of thing ⌋ . 895486_896373
*CAM:	(..) You know 896373_897173
	⌈ of- oh if ⌉ +... 897173_897814
*LAJU:	⌊ Mhm ⌋ . 897173_897814
*CAM:	(.) Li- as if they were like a to⌈2:y or ⌉2 something . 897814_899972
*LAJU:	                                 ⌊2 &=THROAT ⌋2 899139_899382
	(.) &=tsk &=in That was my older brother 899972_901441
	because my ⌈ older ⌉ brother: . 901441_902388
*CAM:	           ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 901813_902008
*LAJU:	(.) uh: 902388_902835
	(.) played football at Perdue . 902835_904057
*CAM:	(.) ⌈ Mhm ⌉ . 904057_904581
*LAJU:	    ⌊ &=in ⌋ and I used to go to games 904265_905490
	and I followed him around 905490_906528
	he'd take me for weekends 906528_907612
	and then I'd get to sit in the locker room . 907612_909103
*LAJU:	&=in And 909103_909889
	(.) these guys would like tickle me: 909889_912003
	and hug me 912003_912753
	and I was just a little kid . 912753_913930
*LAJU:	(.) &=in Cause I probably +/. 913930_915088
*LAJU:	(.) Mm 915088_915383
	(.) I was probably about ten at the time 915383_916953
	ten eleven 916953_917632
	&=in and they: just thought I was the ni:cest little boy 917632_919881
	and 919881_920072
	&=in (.) I just had 920072_921248
	and I knew it . 921248_921759
*LAJU:	I was always sexually aroused by it . 921759_923721
*LAJU:	(.) And +/. 923721_924043
*LAJU:	&=in And you know these things 924043_925419
	and 925419_925584
	&=in (.) you know it's ins:ide of you . 925584_927387
*LAJU:	(.) ⌈ A:⌉nd . 927387_928156
*CAM:	    ⌊ Mhm ⌋ . 927529_927890
*LAJU:	(..) you know 928156_929231
	(.) what what do you do . 929231_930342
*LAJU:	(.) And I know my brother 930342_931608
	(..) who lives in Dallas 931608_933011
	uh 933011_933230
	the one that played football at Perdue 933230_934484
	he +/. 934484_934815
*LAJU:	&=in He knew it . 934815_935582
*LAJU:	(.) &=in He (.) he knew 935582_936990
	he knew especially after &=laugh Ron 936990_938466
	(.) because when I left California 938466_939936
	&=in I didn't come back here first 939936_941172
	I actually went to Dallas . 941172_942254
*LAJU:	&=in (.) Because my brother's like come and stay with me: 942254_944430
	things'll work ou:t 944430_945286
	and 945286_945810
	(.) &=in you can look for a job down here . 945810_947395
*LAJU:	(.) &=in A:nd so: 947395_949039
	(.) Ron f:lew to Dallas 949039_950582
	(.) and went to my brother's house 950582_951905
	and banged on the door 951905_952755
	and said I want to see him 952755_953732
	we need to talk 953732_954398
	and my brother's like 954398_954962
	&=in (..) this is really odd for two friends 954962_957527
	(.) to be this emotionally atta:ched . 957527_959799
*LAJU:	&=in And I was like crying all the time 959799_962240
	(.) &=in and like when Ron came 962240_963511
	I started to- crying 963511_964535
	and I was just like 964535_965144
	just tell him to leave me alone 965144_966219
	just get him out of here 966219_967223
	&=in (.) and (.) blah blah blah 967223_968794
	and . 968794_969235
*CAM:	&=laugh &{l=@ Oh my ⌈ Go:d &}l=@ ⌉ . 969235_970322
*LAJU:	                    ⌊ Now you ⌋ tell me your family doesn't realize 969775_971761
	now what is wrong 971761_972807
	that two friends a:re: 972807_974826
	(.) &=in . 974826_975149
*CAM:	(.) Having a . 975149_975863
*LAJU:	(.) Th- a thing . 975863_976740
*LAJU:	They're fighting each other: 976740_978087
	th- one guy's standing outside the house at midnight screaming 978087_980612
	&=in let me talk to him let me talk to him 980612_983011
	(..) it is a little weird . 983011_984703
*LAJU:	(..) You know 984703_986214
	so . 986214_986705
*CAM:	(.) Yeah 986705_987453
	I think they would figure that one out . 987453_988708
*LAJU:	Yeah 988708_988893
	and my brother had met Ron 988893_989862
	cause we went down there on a vacation &{l=X of &}l=X spring break once 989862_991773
	and he thought we- he was really cool 991773_993211
	and stuff so 993211_993842
	(.) &=in he really liked him a lo:t 993842_995638
	&=in until that episode 995638_996955
	and then 996955_997319
	(.) uh 997319_997757
	I haven't spoke to my brother to be honest with you since . 997757_999979
*CAM:	(.) Really ? 999979_1000787
*LAJU:	(.) ʔuh . 1000787_1001261
*CAM:	(..) Why . 1001261_1002194
*CAM:	W- was he like upset ? 1002194_1003131
*LAJU:	(..) &=in &=lengthened (..) ʔuh No: h- 1003131_1005140
	I th:ink (..) I'm afraid . 1005140_1007549
*CAM:	(..) Oh . 1007549_1008312
*LAJU:	(.) I'm afraid that he's gonna come right out and ask me . 1008312_1010623
*CAM:	(.) Oh . 1010623_1011168
*LAJU:	(.) about it 1011168_1012059
	and what happened was 1012059_1012685
	I ended up leaving Dallas 1012685_1013996
	(.) and coming back (.) to Wisconsin like a week later . 1013996_1016291
*CAM:	But doesn't he come up here ever ? 1016291_1017491
*CAM:	(.) For holidays at all or anything ? 1017491_1018685
*LAJU:	I won't go home when he's here . 1018685_1019730
*CAM:	&=laugh &=ex &=lengthened ⌈ &{l=@ Are you serious &}l=@ ⌉ ? 1019730_1021994
*LAJU:	                          ⌊ &=laugh &=ex &=in ⌋ 1020776_1021994
	I won't go to Indiana 1021994_1022636
	ʔuh see I don't have any family in Wisconsin . 1022636_1024137
*LAJU:	My family⌈'s all in Indi⌉ana . 1024137_1025260
*CAM:	         ⌊ Mm ⌋ . 1024441_1024828
*LAJU:	&=in So when he comes home 1025260_1026352
	like if I know he's coming home for Thanksgiving 1026352_1027769
	I won't ⌈ go home ⌉ . 1027769_1028507
*CAM:	        ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1028010_1028507
*LAJU:	&=in He did call me one time 1028507_1030380
	&=in because he needed me to se- sign a property agreement 1030380_1032693
	some property we own jointly . 1032693_1034249
*CAM:	⌈ (.) Mhm ⌉ . 1034249_1034786
*LAJU:	⌊ &=in ⌋ 1034249_1034786
	(.) My +/. 1034786_1035127
*LAJU:	There's eight of us 1035127_1036047
	that my grandparents left us 1036047_1037181
	and he needed to borrow money against it . 1037181_1038654
*LAJU:	&=in So he called 1038654_1039738
	&=in (.) and left me a message 1039738_1040944
	I wasn't home 1040944_1041374
	I was working 1041374_1042207
	&=in (.) a:nd 1042207_1043111
	he said 1043111_1043425
	ga:ve me his number and told me to call him ba:ck 1043425_1045220
	(.) &=in and 1045220_1045894
	I called my sister and said fine 1045894_1047126
	send me the p- +/. 1047126_1047528
*LAJU:	Tell him to send me the paper and I'll sign it 1047528_1048867
	and I never talked to him . 1048867_1049862
*CAM:	⌈ (.) &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 1049862_1050948
*LAJU:	⌊ (.) &=in So I haven't ⌋ talked to my b:rother 1049862_1052118
	(..) see I've been in Milwaukee for ten years: 1052118_1054885
	s:o 1054885_1055250
	(.) about ten and a half years . 1055250_1056597
*CAM:	(.) Wo:w . 1056597_1057337
*CAM:	How old is he . 1057337_1057888
*LAJU:	(..) &=in He's a lot older than I am 1057888_1060210
	cause if I was ten and he was nineteen 1060210_1062526
	(..) so he's nine years older than me ? 1062526_1064464
*CAM:	⌈ Oh ⌉ . 1064464_1064849
*LAJU:	⌊ So ⌋ he's +/. 1064464_1065161
*LAJU:	(.) He's older 1065161_1066309
	he's in his forties . 1066309_1067161
*LAJU:	(..) Yeah . 1067161_1069049
*LAJU:	(.) He's in his fort⌈ies ⌉ . 1069049_1069913
*CAM:	                    ⌊ Don't you ⌋ think it's it's more that you were just- (..) ⌈2 nervous at the time ⌉2 . 1069698_1073117
*LAJU:	                                                                                ⌊2 &=in &=lengthened Well now I'm gonna ⌋2 tell him . 1072008_1073498
*LAJU:	(.) I've t- I keep telling myself every month 1073498_1075319
	(.) call him 1075319_1075998
	&=in and just tell him 1075998_1076910
	because I wanna go to Dallas 1076910_1078163
	&=in (.) and I wanna +/. 1078163_1079029
*LAJU:	I I miss my brother . 1079029_1080055
*LAJU:	He was my best friend- 1080055_1080834
	and he knows . 1080834_1081855
*LAJU:	(.) &=in He: (.) knows . 1081855_1083561
*LAJU:	(..) But 1083561_1084490
	(.) I just couldn't 1084490_1085518
	(..) just come right out and tell him then . 1085518_1087477
*LAJU:	I couldn't tell him 1087477_1088163
	wel- +/. 1088163_1088369
*LAJU:	There was more to it than that . 1088369_1089474
*LAJU:	&=in Ron came to the house 1089474_1090710
	he had a gu:n 1090710_1091597
	(.) &=in they had to call the poli:ce⌈: ⌉ . 1091597_1093868
*CAM:	                                     ⌊ He had a gu:⌋n: ? 1093265_1094175
*LAJU:	(.) Yes: . 1094175_1095024
*CAM:	&=laugh &=ex &=lengthened ⌈ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌉ . 1095024_1096496
*LAJU:	                          ⌊ And he was standing out⌋side the house 1095782_1097122
	saying I'm gonna +/. 1097122_1097681
*LAJU:	(.) I'm gonna kill myself 1097681_1098730
	if you don't talk to me 1098730_1099664
	just tell me 1099664_1100215
	&=in &=lengthened (.) a:nd 1100215_1101854
	(.) th- +/. 1101854_1102252
*LAJU:	There was just so much to ⌈ this &{l=VOX &{l=X who:le &}l=X &}l=VOX ⌉ . 1102252_1104061
*CAM:	                          ⌊ &=tsk This is the guy who ⌋ doesn't know he's gay . 1103205_1104845
*CAM:	(.) ⌈2 Or: isn't ⌉2 sure if he's gay . 1104845_1106372
*LAJU:	    ⌊2 Yes ⌋2 . 1105230_1105790
*LAJU:	(.) Yes . 1106372_1107193
*LAJU:	Who's now in the air force and lives in th- in South Carolina . 1107193_1109481
*LAJU:	(.) &=tsk &=in ʔSo . 1109481_1110599
*CAM:	(..) Wait a second . 1110599_1111875
*CAM:	(..) I thought this w- guy was go- was married . 1111875_1114268
*LAJU:	(..) Ron . 1114268_1115182
*CAM:	(..) Ron 1115182_1115930
	(.) he's married 1115930_1116405
	right ? 1116405_1116704
*LAJU:	(.) That's Darren . 1116704_1117499
*CAM:	Oh: 1117499_1118082
	I'm thinking of ⌈ Darren right ⌉ . 1118082_1118827
*LAJU:	                ⌊ &=in No ⌋ 1118477_1118993
	Darren's: the other guy that 1118993_1120295
	(.) &{l=SM was also in a frat that I knew in college &}l=SM 1120295_1122465
	the one that I told . 1122465_1123478
*CAM:	(.) Oh those frat boys are too much . 1123478_1125216
*LAJU:	(.) &=laugh &=lengthened &{l=@ I know &}l=@ . 1125216_1126504
*LAJU:	&=in &=lengthened He was the one that I told 1126504_1128247
	(..) that if he'd had told me he loved me 1128247_1130484
	(.) I would have never left Washington and moved with Ron . 1130484_1132490
*LAJU:	I would have (..) ⌈ stuck with ⌉ Darren . 1132490_1134228
*CAM:	                  ⌊ Oh ⌋ . 1133430_1133826
*LAJU:	(.) I would have n:ever . 1134228_1135384
*LAJU:	&=in Cause I never really 1135384_1136717
	(.) like I said 1136717_1137734
	Ron was my friend . 1137734_1138790
*LAJU:	(.) And I knew Ron was my ⌈ friend ⌉ . 1138790_1140069
*CAM:	                          ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1139686_1140069
*LAJU:	(.) &=in (.) A:nd 1140069_1141321
	I was in love with Darren . 1141321_1142715
*LAJU:	(.) When I was in college 1142715_1143778
	and to this d:ay 1143778_1144644
	&=in (..) if Scott wasn't here 1144644_1146716
	and (.) Darren wasn't married to a woman 1146716_1148635
	&=in (.) I would be with Darren . 1148635_1150322
*LAJU:	(..) &=tsk &=in He was probably (.) the best (..) s:exual partner 1150322_1154851
	(.) &=in I ʔuh could ever imagine . 1154851_1156933
*LAJU:	⌈ &=laugh &=lengthened ⌉ . 1156933_1158262
*CAM:	⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 1156933_1158262
*LAJU:	(.) &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 1158262_1159688
*CAM:	⌈ Oh my God ⌉ . 1159688_1160745
*LAJU:	⌊ &{l=SM &=in &=lengthened And we never ⌋ had sex &}l=SM . 1159688_1161673
*LAJU:	(..) &=in He's the only person I know who kissed me 1161673_1164362
	when h- when he kissed me I just came &{l=SM right on the spot &}l=SM . 1164362_1166493
*CAM:	(.) &=tsk You never had sex . 1166493_1168305
*LAJU:	(.) N:ot 1168305_1169341
	(.) you know . 1169341_1169913
*LAJU:	(..) Not the booty dance . 1169913_1171581
*LAJU:	⌈ &=in &=lengthened &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh . 1171581_1173421
*CAM:	⌊ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh 1171581_1173177
	&{l=@ The booty dance &}l=@ ⌋ . 1173177_1174492
*LAJU:	&=in &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened ⌉ &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌈2 ʔuh: [% laugh] &=laugh &=in ⌉2 . 1173421_1176654
*CAM:	                                                                         ⌊2 &{l=% Wo:w &}l=% ⌋2 . 1175737_1176654
*LAJU:	We: (.) had u:m . 1176654_1178473
*CAM:	(..) You had oral sex . 1178473_1180408
*LAJU:	Oral sex: . 1180408_1181369
*LAJU:	(.) But he: was just 1181369_1182408
	oh 1182408_1182697
	(..) &=tsk &=in and fi:ne . 1182697_1184239
*LAJU:	(..) &=in And I don't like men with like auburn hair . 1184239_1187503
*LAJU:	(.) But he had auburn hair 1187503_1188789
	and these turquoise eyes 1188789_1189889
	and he was like 1189889_1190608
	(.) six foot 1190608_1191518
	and just 1191518_1192178
	(.) oh 1192178_1192668
	(.) &=in and he still is . 1192668_1193995
*LAJU:	I was just like 1193995_1194989
	(.) &=in he is to die: for . 1194989_1196927
*LAJU:	(.) I thought 1196927_1197393
	(.) &=in (.) &{l=WH why &}l=WH +/. 1197393_1198551
*LAJU:	I was so young then and so stupid . 1198551_1200243
*LAJU:	(.) &=in He was the ⌈ one that ⌉ blamed me . 1200243_1201741
*CAM:	                    ⌊ &{l=P &=laugh &=laugh &}l=P ⌋ . 1200824_1201168
*LAJU:	he wouldn't speak to me for six months 1201741_1203114
	the first time we messed around we were drunk . 1203114_1204650
*LAJU:	(.) And we messed around . 1204650_1205993
*LAJU:	And he wouldn't speak to me for six months 1205993_1207422
	and said it was my fault that he knows he's not gay . 1207422_1209369
*LAJU:	(.) But yet he was the one that grabbed me and threw me on the floor . 1209369_1212150
*CAM:	(.) He ⌈ confronted you and said ⌉ that to you ? 1212150_1214143
*LAJU:	       ⌊ And got on top of me ⌋ . 1212868_1213753
*LAJU:	(..) &=in (.) I called him . 1214143_1216257
*CAM:	Oh . 1216257_1216521
*LAJU:	the next day after it had happened . 1216521_1218209
*LAJU:	&=in And he said I don't want to talk to you 1218209_1220055
	&=in you took advantage of me when I was drunk . 1220055_1222288
*LAJU:	But he's the one that grabbed me 1222288_1223628
	&=in kissed me 1223628_1224643
	(..) took my underwear off 1224643_1226567
	(..) a:nd 1226567_1227506
	(.) he started it . 1227506_1228519
*LAJU:	(..) You know 1228519_1229915
	I knew: (.) what I was about . 1229915_1231586
*LAJU:	(.) I (.) didn't (.) get into it 1231586_1233375
	but I knew . 1233375_1234161
*CAM:	(.) Right . 1234161_1234714
*LAJU:	(..) And 1234714_1235799
	he was the one 1235799_1236337
	that was the first experience . 1236337_1237404
*LAJU:	And then the second experience 1237404_1238516
	&=in he didn't speak to me for three months 1238516_1240330
	(..) ʔuh because he blamed me for that . 1240330_1242849
*LAJU:	And then: 1242849_1243525
	(.) the third experience he blamed me for 1243525_1245317
	&=in he's been blaming me for all of these experiences 1245317_1247810
	up unti:l 1247810_1248575
	(..) uh: li:ke 1248575_1250409
	(.) Scott and I got serious like the year after 1250409_1252344
	and I was still k:ind of seeing Darren 1252344_1254013
	&=in I went out to Washington and stuff 1254013_1255492
	&=in and that's when he sto:pped blaming me . 1255492_1257238
*LAJU:	Now: 1257238_1257912
	&=in he calls me and tells me that he wants to be with me . 1257912_1260660
*LAJU:	(..) And 1260660_1261919
	(.) he called +/. 1261919_1262410
*LAJU:	Like he called me last week 1262410_1263418
	and said he wanted to be with me . 1263418_1264533
*CAM:	(..) You're kidding . 1264533_1267061
*LAJU:	(.) No . 1267061_1267681
*LAJU:	(.) But he's married to Lauren . 1267681_1268951
*LAJU:	(..) And I keep telling him 1268951_1271155
	get out of that relationship 1271155_1272304
	(.) before you have children . 1272304_1273391
*LAJU:	(..) Just get out of it 1273391_1274824
	(.) don't carry any by- baggage with you . 1274824_1276932
*LAJU:	(..) Always my biggest theory . 1276932_1278526
*LAJU:	Don't carry any excess baggage . 1278526_1280318
*CAM:	(.) Mm: . 1280318_1281244
*LAJU:	With you . 1281244_1281694
*LAJU:	&=in And he lo:ves her . 1281694_1282940
*LAJU:	But what he doesn't know how to separate is 1282940_1284554
	&=in he loves her but he's not in love with her . 1284554_1286900
*LAJU:	(..) You know what I mean 1286900_1288710
	⌈ he he just +... 1288710_1289565
*CAM:	⌊ Right right . 1288710_1289565
*CAM:	Oh ⌋ yeah . 1289565_1290021
*LAJU:	&=in ⌉ . 1289565_1289813
*CAM:	you can love a person 1290021_1291094
	(.) but (.) you're not ⌈ in love ⌉ with them . 1291094_1292386
*LAJU:	                       ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1291695_1292117
*CAM:	It's not sexual . 1292386_1293291
*LAJU:	(..) Yeah . 1293291_1294455
*LAJU:	(..) &=in And that's really har⌈:d ⌉ . 1294455_1296219
*CAM:	                               ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1295842_1296219
*LAJU:	(.) Becau:se . 1296219_1297217
*CAM:	&=SNIFF . 1297217_1297463
*LAJU:	(..) you you find it very difficult to be 1297463_1300187
	(.) to love someone and 1300187_1301238
	when you tell someone you love them 1301238_1302559
	&=in they misunderstand 1302559_1303876
	what love is all about . 1303876_1304888
*LAJU:	So 1304888_1305369
	(..) &=tsk I don't know . 1305369_1306899
*LAJU:	But I d- I 1306899_1307503
	(.) &=in I think if there was ever anybody 1307503_1309469
	(.) I truly +/. 1309469_1310606
*LAJU:	But he k- +/. 1310606_1311056
*LAJU:	(.) He: 1311056_1311736
	(.) &=in everybody has that one person who breaks their heart 1311736_1313798
	and he broke my heart . 1313798_1314835
*LAJU:	(.) Just incredibly because 1314835_1316548
	(.) &=in I wasn't really in love with his looks 1316548_1318506
	I: just 1318506_1319457
	(..) I've never met anybody who when you (.) they touched you 1319457_1322360
	just 1322360_1322707
	(.) there was so much warmth . 1322707_1323982
*LAJU:	And so much 1323982_1324762
	(.) &=in just +/. 1324762_1325540
*LAJU:	There was so much (.) energy there . 1325540_1326940
*LAJU:	(.) &=in Tha:t 1326940_1328135
	(.) I mean . 1328135_1328969
*CAM:	&=tsk So you've (.) kept ⌈ in con⌉tact with him ? 1328969_1330991
*LAJU:	                         ⌊ &{l=P ʔuh Mm &}l=P ⌋ 1330063_1330400
	(.) yes: . 1330991_1332123
*LAJU:	Since nineteen +/. 1332123_1333562
*LAJU:	(..) Yeah . 1333562_1334644
*CAM:	(..) That's ama⌈zing ⌉ . 1334644_1335967
*LAJU:	               ⌊ I've been ⌋ here 1335664_1336283
	for all this time . 1336283_1336985
*CAM:	(.) What does he just call 1336985_1338287
	or you call 1338287_1339076
	&{l=P &{l=X when he's &}l=X &}l=P +... 1339076_1339548
*LAJU:	No . 1339548_1339920
*LAJU:	(.) He calls me . 1339920_1340778
*LAJU:	(..) I can't call him . 1340778_1342959
*CAM:	(..) Oh . 1342959_1344014
*LAJU:	(..) &=in &=lengthened Actually I can 1344014_1345626
	cause his wife knows that we're friends . 1345626_1347461
*LAJU:	(.) But I don't choose to call him . 1347461_1349337
*LAJU:	(..) &=in He +/. 1349337_1350522
*LAJU:	(..) Like he used to travel 1350522_1352140
	⌈ around ⌉ the country . 1352140_1353007
*CAM:	⌊ &=SNIFF ⌋ . 1352140_1352376
*LAJU:	they live +/. 1353007_1353461
*LAJU:	They used to live in ⌈ Valencia ⌉ California . 1353461_1355004
*CAM:	                     ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1354059_1354546
*LAJU:	now they live somewhere 1355004_1355997
	(..) they just moved 1355997_1357133
	cause his wife got a new job . 1357133_1358315
*LAJU:	&=in He quit his job for her 1358315_1359754
	(..) for her: (.) job . 1359754_1361340
*LAJU:	Cause she moved to California for them 1361340_1362805
	cause they were living in Washington DC . 1362805_1364132
*LAJU:	&=in So he used to travel all around the world . 1364132_1365985
*LAJU:	&=in Well whenever he come to Wisconsin for the dairy expo 1365985_1368602
	or he'd come here 1368602_1369574
	(.) &=in go to Chicago for (.) some reason 1369574_1371665
	to take businessmen around 1371665_1372772
	&=in what he did was 1372772_1373933
	&=in (.) ʔuh 1373933_1374812
	he took f:- uh farmers around from arou- different parts of the world 1374812_1378042
	so that they can look at farms . 1378042_1379535
*LAJU:	&=in So his travel a lot of times was in Wisconsin 1379535_1381993
	(.) because of the farms here . 1381993_1383334
*LAJU:	(.) &=in They would see how: (.) things were done and 1383334_1385614
	he- +/. 1385614_1385965
*LAJU:	(..) He like took them around (.) &=tsk the world . 1385965_1388638
*LAJU:	(.) &=in You know doing this . 1388638_1389641
*LAJU:	And he traveled all over the world . 1389641_1391010
*LAJU:	&=in See 1391010_1391485
	tha:t's why 1391485_1392371
	(..) I think Darren no:w 1392371_1394017
	is getting to this point where 1394017_1395095
	&=in (.) he's with Lauren all the ti:me . 1395095_1397351
*LAJU:	(..) And before 1397351_1398998
	Darren traveled like ninety percent of the year . 1398998_1401066
*LAJU:	(..) He was gone . 1401066_1402469
*LAJU:	(.) I mean 1402469_1403108
	Darren was gone ninety percent of the year . 1403108_1404891
*LAJU:	(..) So now he's with Lauren (.) ev:ery day 1404891_1407570
	and it's been this way for the last three or four months . 1407570_1409823
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I ⌈ think k ⌉ +... 1409823_1411079
*CAM:	               ⌊ Oh that's ⌋ all ? 1410603_1411350
*CAM:	(..) For the last three or four months ? 1411350_1413035
*CAM:	⌈ Oh ⌉ +... 1413035_1413313
*LAJU:	⌊ He just ⌋ started stop +/. 1413035_1413826
*LAJU:	They've been married six years . 1413826_1414946
*LAJU:	(.) He ⌈ just stopped trav⌉eling . 1414946_1416139
*CAM:	       ⌊ Oh: ⌋ ? 1415206_1415898
*LAJU:	(..) And I think now it's just like 1416139_1418786
	(..) I don't know if this is for me 1418786_1420248
	I don't know if this is right 1420248_1421363
	&=in and he's starting to call me . 1421363_1422831
*LAJU:	And he's starting to tell me how much he cares for me 1422831_1424604
	and how he has feelings for me 1424604_1425862
	and I +/. 1425862_1426068
*LAJU:	&=in I know that you're with Scott . 1426068_1427524
*LAJU:	&=in And I'm just li:ke 1427524_1428875
	(..) and I'm not giving up my life for you . 1428875_1431168
*LAJU:	(.) &=in He asked me once 1431168_1432248
	right out of college 1432248_1433090
	when he moved to Washington DC 1433090_1434511
	(..) when I came back 1434511_1435973
	from California 1435973_1436795
	and I was here 1436795_1437256
	and I had just started working 1437256_1438332
	&=in he asked me to move to Madison . 1438332_1440079
*LAJU:	(..) To be with him . 1440079_1441131
*LAJU:	(.) That was when he was on the peak of thinking maybe I am gay . 1441131_1443617
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I said 1443617_1444675
	(..) well: 1444675_1445714
	(.) why don't I come out there first 1445714_1447057
	and we'll see . 1447057_1447513
*LAJU:	So I went out there 1447513_1448339
	&=in and he goes 1448339_1448956
	&=in well yeah you can move out here and get your own apartment 1448956_1450922
	whereas he owned a three-bedroom hou:se 1450922_1452726
	(..) and lived by himself 1452726_1454223
	and I'm like 1454223_1454631
	(..) okay 1454631_1455458
	can I afford to move out here 1455458_1456713
	get a apartment 1456713_1457414
	until I fi:nd +/. 1457414_1458428
*LAJU:	He never said move in here with me until you find a place or whatever . 1458428_1461486
*LAJU:	&=in It was just li:ke 1461486_1462927
	(.) &=in and then he wanted the still straight life 1462927_1464937
	(..) and this and that and other . 1464937_1466196
*LAJU:	So now he claims bisexuality 1466196_1468065
	(.) &=in but he's moving closer I think &{l=X to steps of being &}l=X gay 1468065_1470788
	(.) &=in because when he was talking to me on the phone last week 1470788_1473138
	(..) he was telling me how much he still loved me . 1473138_1476071
*LAJU:	(..) And he doesn't know what to do about this whole sit⌈uation ⌉ . 1476071_1478903
*CAM:	                                                        ⌊ How could he ⌋ really love you though 1478370_1479774
	he doesn't know you that much . 1479774_1481151
*LAJU:	&=in He doesn't know me 1481151_1482056
	because in the last ten years 1482056_1483711
	&=in we talked to each other maybe once a month . 1483711_1485982
*CAM:	(..) Well that's quite a bit though . 1485982_1487826
*LAJU:	And actually maybe not even that . 1487826_1489010
*LAJU:	Sometimes it's every other month . 1489010_1490369
*LAJU:	When he was traveling around the world 1490369_1491551
	&=in like he went to Germany for six weeks . 1491551_1493402
*LAJU:	And he sent me his frequent flyer ticket . 1493402_1495205
*LAJU:	(.) &=in (.) Cause he was there 1495205_1496721
	(.) training to t- speak 1496721_1497632
	learning to speak German in a six-week course . 1497632_1499539
*LAJU:	&=in And he sent ⌈ me ⌉ . 1499539_1500636
*CAM:	                 ⌊ &=THROAT ⌋ . 1500238_1500636
*LAJU:	(.) a free- k- to- (.) to come and spend a week with him 1500636_1502967
	and I said no . 1502967_1503960
*LAJU:	&=in But at that time 1503960_1505048
	(.) I would- been with Scott like four years 1505048_1506998
	and I was just like 1506998_1507886
	&=laugh &=ex 1507886_1508111
	(.) I don't think so . 1508111_1509308
*LAJU:	You're not gonna use me 1509308_1510267
	for your little sex thing for that &=in week 1510267_1512551
	and then that's it 1512551_1513411
	so 1513411_1513795
	(..) &=tsk &=in I mean 1513795_1515746
	(..) I st- I love him 1515746_1517609
	(.) ⌈ I real⌉ly do but . 1517609_1518660
*CAM:	    ⌊ &{l=P Hm &}l=P ⌋ . 1517906_1518170
*LAJU:	I don't +/. 1518660_1519141
*LAJU:	(..) &=in I also don't trust him . 1519141_1521493
*LAJU:	(.) I don't think any man 1521493_1522591
	(.) &=in who (..) is as sexual as he w- (.) is 1522591_1527187
	(..) ʔuh and traveled as much as he did 1527187_1530543
	(.) could stay 1530543_1531441
	(.) celibate 1531441_1532335
	or- or stay t- t- committed to his wi:fe . 1532335_1534389
*CAM:	(.) Right . 1534389_1534980
*LAJU:	(.) I mean when y- I saw him once in Chicago 1534980_1537340
	(..) I went to Chicago . 1537340_1539017
*LAJU:	(.) About (.) four years ago ? 1539017_1540886
*LAJU:	(.) Five years ago ? 1540886_1541751
*LAJU:	(..) A:nd he was in Chicago 1541751_1544185
	in this &{l=VOX really nice &}l=VOX hotel 1544185_1545424
	and he &=in said 1545424_1546440
	why don't you come and 1546440_1547195
	(.) you know 1547195_1547725
	I:'m free Saturday 1547725_1549319
	(..) and Sunday . 1549319_1550482
*LAJU:	Why don't you come . 1550482_1551058
*LAJU:	And I said fine . 1551058_1551626
*LAJU:	So I took the train to Chicago on Saturday 1551626_1553388
	(.) &=in and I thought okay no big deal 1553388_1555328
	he'll have (.) a room with two double beds . 1555328_1556934
*LAJU:	(.) No it was a king-size bed . 1556934_1558603
*LAJU:	&=in So I thought 1558603_1559284
	okay 1559284_1559622
	no big deal 1559622_1560001
	I took a sleeping bag 1560001_1561019
	just in case . 1561019_1561955
*LAJU:	&=in So 1561955_1562690
	here I am 1562690_1563346
	(.) taking my sleeping bag 1563346_1564593
	I roll it out on the floor 1564593_1565649
	and he goes 1565649_1565984
	&=in &=lengthened ʔuh &=ex 1565984_1566704
	well you don't have to worry 1566704_1567612
	you can share this bed with me 1567612_1568886
	I love Lauren 1568886_1569932
	(..) and +/. 1569932_1570631
*LAJU:	No: I take that back . 1570631_1571659
*LAJU:	(.) &=in It was more than five years ago 1571659_1573193
	because he's been married to Lauren for six years this coming May 1573193_1575624
	(..) no . 1575624_1576470
*LAJU:	Seven years this coming May . 1576470_1577466
*LAJU:	&=in So it was m:ore than six years ago because 1577466_1579526
	(.) it was when he asked Lauren to marry him 1579526_1581054
	it was right around Christmas time . 1581054_1582325
*LAJU:	&=in So it's been about six and a half years so 1582325_1584094
	&=in he asked Lauren to marry him 1584094_1585370
	&=in and he says I really love Lauren 1585370_1586835
	X I'm gonna marry her 1586835_1587606
	and blah blah blah this . 1587606_1588591
*LAJU:	&=in So I get in the bed 1588591_1589574
	I thought fine 1589574_1590174
	no big deal . 1590174_1590753
*LAJU:	(.) I'm wearing my t-shirt and my underwear 1590753_1592320
	so I get in the bed 1592320_1593073
	(..) &=in and in the morning I wake up 1593073_1595051
	(.) and here he is 1595051_1596019
	(..) fondling me . 1596019_1597910
*LAJU:	(..) &=tsk So I'm like 1597910_1600253
	okay 1600253_1600884
	so 1600884_1601336
	do you leave 1601336_1602080
	or what do you do . 1602080_1602960
*LAJU:	(..) You know 1602960_1603603
	so ʔuh 1603603_1604131
	(.) I'm like Darren 1604131_1605014
	(..) ʔuh he goes 1605014_1605851
	just don't say anything . 1605851_1606972
*LAJU:	And I said Darren 1606972_1607621
	(..) this isn't right 1607621_1609182
	(.) you don't really want to be with me 1609182_1610840
	(.) you just want (.) the sexual part . 1610840_1612860
*LAJU:	(..) And I said that's all there is to it 1612860_1614286
	and I just can't do this . 1614286_1615574
*LAJU:	(..) And (..) he accepted it 1615574_1618232
	and I I don't know: +/. 1618232_1619275
*LAJU:	(..) He always 1619275_1620461
	and he'll always ask me 1620461_1621577
	&=in well how's Scott 1621577_1622597
	(.) &=in how is your sex life with Sco:tt . 1622597_1624603
*LAJU:	(.) Are you happy with Scott 1624603_1626137
	(.) you know 1626137_1626799
	do you still miss me . 1626799_1628074
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And I'm like 1628074_1629056
	(.) well Darren I haven't told you I missed you in years . 1629056_1631026
*LAJU:	What are you ⌈ talking about ⌉ . 1631026_1632083
*CAM:	             ⌊ &=laugh &=ex &=lengthened &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh &=laugh ⌋ . 1631214_1632552
*LAJU:	You know 1632552_1632904
	it's [% laugh] like 1632904_1633605
	k- excuse me . 1633605_1634350
*LAJU:	⌈ &=in (.) ʔuhʔuh ⌉ . 1634350_1635518
*CAM:	⌊ ʔuh Is he like full of himself ⌋ or what . 1634350_1635819
*LAJU:	(..) &=tsk &=in And he's another one too . 1635819_1638048
*CAM:	&=THROAT . 1638048_1638260
*LAJU:	He knows (.) he's (.) good-looking . 1638260_1640199
*LAJU:	He he's another one . 1640199_1641101
*LAJU:	(.) When we were were in college 1641101_1642298
	he knew it . 1642298_1642696
*CAM:	(.) Mm . 1642696_1643326
*LAJU:	(.) And (.) and what really gets me is th- ʔuh that 1643326_1645514
	(..) &=tsk &=in I think 1645514_1646929
	(.) the reason I always attra:cted 1646929_1648864
	like I attracted a lot of football players 1648864_1650510
	&=in is people always (.) got the impression (.) I was gay: . 1650510_1653446
*LAJU:	(.) &=in So 1653446_1654408
	if they knew you were gay: 1654408_1655583
	and they wanted some (.) experience 1655583_1657283
	and they (.) &=in they didn't want to approach another (.) say man in your fra:t . 1657283_1660546
*LAJU:	(.) &=in (.) And they kinda thou:ght you were gay: 1660546_1663229
	and nobody really wanted to &=in like say it 1663229_1665380
	(.) they would approach me . 1665380_1666778
*CAM:	(.) ⌈ Mm: ⌉ . 1666778_1667374
*LAJU:	    ⌊ &=in So ⌋ I always got all the good-looking ones to always like 1667026_1669936
	(.) come after me . 1669936_1671128
*CAM:	(.) &{l=P Mm: &}l=P . 1671128_1672388
*LAJU:	And that's how I ended up with Ron 1672388_1673734
	and how I ended up with Darren . 1673734_1674610
*LAJU:	And I and I realize that 1674610_1675787
	&=in you know I always think well 1675787_1677217
	especially Ron . 1677217_1677927
*LAJU:	I mean &{l=% he: was just like &}l=% 1677927_1679225
	(.) oh 1679225_1679712
	(.) just (.) perfect . 1679712_1680756
*LAJU:	Well Darren was too but 1680756_1681765
	&=in Darren 1681765_1682626
	&=in a lot of people don't like auburn hair or reddish brown hair . 1682626_1685384
*LAJU:	They don't (.) ca- care for it . 1685384_1686863
*LAJU:	But Ron just is just a- +/. 1686863_1688440
*LAJU:	(.) &=in just a beautiful man . 1688440_1689755
*LAJU:	They both were but 1689755_1690545
	&=in I find that that's what happens in these fraternities . 1690545_1693261
*LAJU:	Is you find a man who (.) is curious about his sexuality . 1693261_1696166
*LAJU:	(.) &=in And if they find someone who they question 1696166_1698683
	(.) okay 1698683_1699479
	is he gay or isn't he gay 1699479_1700914
	(.) &=in then they will tend to (.) go after you a little bit faster . 1700914_1704358
*LAJU:	&=in So then you think 1704358_1705089
	okay you've seen some of these guys in the bars and you think 1705089_1707192
	(..) &=tsk like I was out (.) at the Triangle 1707192_1709903
	and I saw this guy 1709903_1710336
	he was so: good-looking 1710336_1711468
	I'm like . 1711468_1711759
*CAM:	&=THROAT . 1711759_1712196
*LAJU:	&=in how the hell did he end up with that (.) &{l=VOX thi:ng &}l=VOX . 1712196_1714818
*LAJU:	&=in And then I thought you know 1714818_1715974
	I betcha he's just out +/. 1715974_1717359
*LAJU:	And he was from Marquette 1717359_1718319
	&=in and he (.) was just finding out 1718319_1720392
	and he met this guy: 1720392_1721619
	(.) and that's why he was out with him . 1721619_1723316
*CAM:	Oh:⌈: ⌉ . 1723316_1724274
*LAJU:	   ⌊ You ⌋ know 1724111_1724507
	I mean . 1724507_1724912
*CAM:	⌈ When was ⌉ this . 1724912_1725598
*LAJU:	⌊ it- ⌋ +/. 1724912_1725273
*LAJU:	(.) &=tsk &=in This was probab- +/. 1725598_1727066
*LAJU:	This was a while back . 1727066_1727877
*LAJU:	This was +... 1727877_1728305
*CAM:	They young ? 1728305_1729054
*LAJU:	(.) Yeah . 1729054_1729390
*LAJU:	⌈ Well the w- ⌉ +... 1729390_1729929
*CAM:	⌊ Oh ⌋ . 1729390_1729929
*LAJU:	&=in They were young . 1729929_1730949
*LAJU:	&=in The one guy in particular was young . 1730949_1732439
*LAJU:	The guy that was from Marquette . 1732439_1733562
*CAM:	(.) ⌈ Mm ⌉ . 1733562_1734089
*LAJU:	    ⌊ Was ⌋ probably 1733822_1734594
	I f- +/. 1734594_1734913
*LAJU:	I wouldn't think he would be more than (..) twenty 1734913_1738024
	(..) twenty-one 1738024_1738791
	I couldn't- +/. 1738791_1739199
*LAJU:	But he shouldn't have been in the Triangle if you want to know the truth . 1739199_1741281
*LAJU:	(..) So: 1741281_1743649
	(.) but 1743649_1744255
	(.) um: 1744255_1745006
	(.) no: 1745006_1745758
	&=in he was just very ni:ce . 1745758_1747453
@End
